Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
