I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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