he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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