Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
God, I missed his penis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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