I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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