Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
