nut hugger
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
false alarm, still single
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
