Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
