my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
