I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
