Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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