I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
