Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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