ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
