I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Randomize
