I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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