Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
