i permit you to call me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
