Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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