He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
