They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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