If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
