Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
