Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
