You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
