Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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