all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
