I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
