I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
