some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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