Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
