I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
