I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
