I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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