I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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