I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
God, I missed his penis.
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