I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
In America we eat man semen.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
