the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
