You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
