she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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