I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The power of my boobs compel you
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
