A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
