i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
