with your own penis?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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