i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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