will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
