I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I need moral support for this bender
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
