Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
