Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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