What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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