so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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