im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
