After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
