I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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