then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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