the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
