I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
