Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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