I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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