Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
