I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
