i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
